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"I couldn't help but laugh. "If you want to role-play that sometime, I'm game, but yes, I'm trying to be serious for a moment here. Aaaaanyway ... as I was saying, I think we both need to start a journal and be diligent about keeping it. I'm not used to being dominant, or being really open in a relationship, and I think there's probably stuff that will be easier for me to write than to say. Also, I'm a total novice with this stuff, and I'd really like to read about your perspective." Yeah? Okay. I can totally do that. It might even be fun. Can I be explicit?" She was grinning at me again."You can write whatever you want. I will be reading it, but I want you to be as honest as you can be, and as explicit as you want to be. I think it'll help."She nodded. "I can see that. And I'll want the same from you. Especially the honest part. I don't want anything to fester unsaid, or unwritten. I think we both need practice at communication in a relationship. When do we start?" This morning. I. Ellie fought back a chuckle and did her best to seem sincere in her terror over being left behind. She cried on April’s shoulder, her own sister, everything innocent on the surface as the pastor’s wife led her back to her trailer. April didn’t even put up any kind of fight, which would have been very suspicious in the past. Now, however, she was so shaken and scared that she was like sheep to the slaughter.“Oh, Ellie ... I’m ... so lost ... so doomed ... what did I do wrong? How could I have been so blind? How did I miss the Rapture? How did I fail to repent and convert ... what did I do wrong about my rebirth? I was supposed to be this ... great Christian, and yet I wasn’t even a believer at all. I am damned ... to be left behind now, that means that I can’t ... repent now. God will send me a ... strong delusion, to doom and damn my soul. It’s over.“We’re both going to Hell, Ellie ... to spend eternity with the Devil, and the Beast, and the False Prophet ... and we’ll both end up.
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